The "Thriving " Pyramid

By Amber Ellis Johnson

A wonderful, dear, long-time client brought something up in a "check-in" session that made me pause and reflect. I think many, maybe most, of us have experienced waning motivation and purpose and drive in our physical fitness goals. Family or work or some other new hobby attracts our attention and energy, or even demands it for a period of time.

We begin to adjust by making compromises, and then we may be faced with a real diverging path that can be confusing to navigate. How much compromise is okay?How much "grace" do I give myself before actually ditching all my healthy habits and routines? Questions begin to circle like vultures: How can I fit in meal planning, cooking wholesome meals from scratch, tracking macro nutrients, and walking and exercising daily when I'm also ... (insert new energy demand here) ...hosting my family from out of town; trying to finish an important paper for class; in the middle of a huge work project; on vacation; in therapy processing a big emotional trauma, going through a divorce (...etc ad infinitum)? The list of complicated life challenges is endless, really. Life includes ALL of these things.

Instead of wondering IF you can make space for tending yourself, Get curious and creative about HOW.

ASK: Where will I make space for these foundational, non-negotiable self-care practices that are getting tricky to manage?

Why would I ask myself that particular question? Because I KNOW I need these things in order to thrive, not just survive, and manage my life well-- happily, not stressed or overwhelmed or depressed and anxious. I think about this like a pyramid.

The Foundational Tier: Physical Health is the bottom and biggest level of the pyramid of Enlightened self-care. Your body needs attention, daily. It needs to be well fed. NOT over fed, or underfed, well fed. That takes intention. It takes mindfulness. And often, it takes some planning and some cooking.

Your body needs rest and recovery and sleep.

Your body needs movement, every single day. Bare minimum it needs to walk; intentional walking looks like two 15 minute walks plus various life chores, it looks like tracking your steps if you wish and aiming for at least 8,000 steps daily. A few times a week, your body needs to exercise, that means using your muscles, including your heart, for at least 20 minutes, minimum.

Accepting this can be hard. Accepting this is also freedom. If you can consistently work to build a strong foundation, you will pave the way to thrive in all other aspects of your life. These things work in symbiosis: they are grounding, strengthening, solidifying, calming, and allow you to do all the other things you need to do, as the best version of yourself. You will be connected, fortified, stable, strong and awake.

In a practical sense, your blood sugar will be stable, you wont feel hangry or malnourished, your nervous system will begin to regulate, your hormones will be more balanced, your muscles will work for you instead of aching in pain from weakness and deconditioning. See where this is going? All other actions, intentions, responsibilities, and living life depends upon your physical well-being.

The Middle Tier: Mental/Emotional & Spiritual Health is the next level of Enlightened self-care. It takes A LOT of time, energy, attention, and awareness to thrive in this realm. This is where we do the important work of processing, reflecting, assessing, analyzing. Meditation, journaling, quiet time in nature, Prayer & gathering at your church & reading holy scripture, negative narrative reprogramming, positive affirmative thoughts, mindset, CBT techniques; all of these support our mental health.

This tier is about turning inward toward love, forgiveness, understanding and feeling connected and whole to yourself and/or your spirit/soul/god.

The Top Tier: Social/Relationship/Community is the final step we can focus on and bring mindful awareness to. It is not Foundational, as we can mistakenly assume. It cannot feed us or fix our weakened bodies, it cannot make our bodies and minds work healthfully and in concert. It is not the place where we know who we are, we bring who we are to this place.

This tier is often the one we focus on the most, but takes care of US (who we are, how we feel, what we can do) the least. It is certainly the most fulfilling, LOVE of others, and gives us immediate feedback and a sense of purpose. But, never the less, it is less important to tend to social and relationship aspects than to tend to ones own self.

And if you can reorganize where you make space within your day and/or week to prioritize Tier 1, then 2, and finally 3, you will feel as well balanced and solid as a Pyramid. Unshakable, Dependable, Steadfast, Strong.

Ways to makes space: Do it early, do it late, do it before your plans, Squeeze it in, Do it while you do other tasks (habit marrying), do it instead of doing a house chore, do it instead of watching a show, do it BEFORE watching a show, DO IT WHILE WATCHING A SHOW. Anyway you can prioritize your foundation, do it.

And your body will thank you.

Love, Amber